So it's been a month since I posted anything here, but with good reason. I was on vacation and then everything just happened at once, it got kind of overwhelming.

I just want to share something I witnessed today.

On my way home from university I saw 2 people in the metro. 2 men. I don't know if they were a couple, they certainly seemed like a couple but I could be wrong. But they were gay for sure.
They weren't the flamboyant or obvious type of gay but their body language kind of gave them away. No 2 straight guys would stand that close to each other as they did.

Even if they weren't a couple, they had some sort of a close relationship. I could tell. There were discreet touches here and there meant only for them and for no one else to see. I myself gave them that privacy but hiding behind my book but I could still see.

There were small things here and there that led me to believe they loved each other. The way one of them would slowly and subtly slip his hand onto the other one's waist, even if it was for a moment only. The way the other one would fix the collar on the first one's jacket when it got messed (and believe me it got messed more than once). The way the taller one kept his chin on the shorter one's shoulder and leaned onto his back.

They could be best friends, they could be boyfriends, they could be husbands for all I know but the fact that they did these small things with each other in a public place in a country which is not exactly supportive of homosexuality made me smile.

It in a way showed me all the things I want but can't have. The tiny gestures that every girl wants, the gestures and feelings I want but haven't had because I just have terrible luck. The silent conversations, the soft spoken words meant for that special someone... I want all of it, but I haven't had it and chances of me getting it are slim to none.

I know things have gotten worse for me... and I know this for a fact because my best friend told me that it's high time I got laid or at least lip raped for now. When she talks like that, I know I've hit rock bottom.

Anyhow, assignments are calling.

Later

Take care
xx